ChaiTea2TaiChi

The Toad’s gift: A full blown studio workstation

Can you imagine? Here in New York City, people throw away the most amazing and expensive things. I have found tons of houseplants that had been drying up, half dead, in the streets. Usually they would be only half dead. So I would take them back home. Then nurse them back to health over the winter. Sometimes it would take a few months and then I would gift them to friends with more space.

But this story is on another level. But I have to go back a little to fill you in on the background story. A few weeks ago I went to NJ to sit in ceremony with a friend. In a secluded spot in the woods. This friend had offered me a very rare, magical experience for about three years now. I kept turning him down because I felt that I was not ready for it. Smart move.

I was in a dark place. My parents had both passed away and my only sister refused to communicate with me. I did not want to leave a dark space with the help of something I can not control. Magic tools I would only have access to if it was offered by someone else. I wanted to kick this pain in the teeth. Graduate from this dependence on so called Elders that had betrayed my love and trust. And that i did. It was hard work, but worth it.

A dark place with infinite vistas

I suppose my sis had felt that I let her down during my parents last days, weeks, moths or years. She never expressed what her actual problem with me was. Typical narcissistic abuse. I can not even hold it against her, because she had that shit handed down to her. For those who know, they know. It’s not that important for the flow of this story. But I want you to understand why I did not want to cover up that feeling. That loneliness of being left to die alone in the woods by people you trusted. I was not going to cover that up. Not by some Magick Potion. I was going to power through that. Like a Viking on a quest to make it through a never ending, cold boiling ocean. On a quest to discover a new continent.

Finally meeting the Toad

A couple of weeks ago my friend offered me that magic carpet ride again. And this time I agreed. It was fantastic. An absolute rebirth of sorts. I will elaborate on that in another post soon if he is comfortable with me sharing more about that day.

So we went deep into the woods. There, I got a light handshake from a big fat Mexican desert toad at first. Once he saw that we were comfortable with each other, my friend sent us the OK. To go deeper into the woods together. And there, the Toad showed me some things. About myself. About the world. About the Deer and the birds.

And about music and Sound. Wow. All I can say is. Wow.

The click track just locks and you get into the groove

The next day, I made plans to go on a walk with another good friend of mine. On the way out the door, half a block away, I saw this keyboard leaning on the wall. Next to the trash bin. A Roland Fantom X8. A relic from the time before computer software.

Early 2000’s. Software has to be updated constantly for the user to stay relevant. A weighted keyboard is about as expensive to buy now, new, as it was 35 years ago. Effin expensive. So instead of some plastic junk triggering a program on a laptop;

I now own a full workstation with weighted keys. Including drum pads, sampler, a card slot for sounds and even a theremin-like light module.

Before we embarked on our walk, I asked my friend to help me carry it up to my apartment. It is too heavy to move up a flight of stairs by oneself.

Send off

The Toad had spoken. This is for you. You are a writer, you are a composer, you now have all the tools to make things happen. Go for it. You have my consent. You do not have to come back and ask for permission again. You are welcome any time if you have any other questions. But don’t bore me with your trivial narcissistic baggage ever again.

“Capisci?” (“kah-peach-ee?”)

That stuff is the past. You are welcome.

Now go play and share your gifts with the world.

They are waiting for you.

Chat, I have understood the assignment. That Toad is way too sigma for me to ignore. That’s what’s up.

You are loved___keep dreaming___stay creative!!!